The Things In Beards Rhyme & Audiobook
Ever wondered what is hiding in Grandpa's beard? It probably is not what you are expecting!
Things In Beards
A grownup’s day of grooming deeds
Includes a list of facial needs.
A forehead scrub, a spot to squeeze,
An eyebrow pluck, a moustache tweeze.
Folks do fuss, but I don’t care.
The truth is: cheeks and chins grow hair.
Some say shaving gives them rashes
(Quite the price for nice moustaches).
But we’re not here to ponder those
Fine hairs between the lip and nose.
I’d rather our attention steered
A bit more south - onto that beard!
Oh, beards! Oh, beards! Those happy furs.
A beard’s where all the fun occurs.
It catches crumbs of birthday cake
(A bit like leaves caught in a rake).
Pasta night? It holds spaghetti.
New Year's Day, you’ll find confetti.
Taco Tuesday’s bits of beef,
Like barnacles on coral reef.
But! Not all things in there are seen.
The outside might look squeaky clean
Like Grandpa’s beard, which hides a load.
When I turned twelve years old, he showed
That nestled deep inside his beard
Hid many things (yeah, it was weird!):
A tiny clock for keeping time
Yes, once an hour his beard will chime!
He reached right in and then pulled free
A silver spoon for midday tea.
The old remote for watching telly
Was further down, close to his belly.
Just when I thought, there can't be more,
He took me walking to the shore
And, with a wink, he reached right in
That crazy beard below his grin.
He pulled out worms and hooks and twine,
A ten-foot pole with fishing line.
He swung it back and cast it out,
Then reeled in three big, silver trout!
And just like magic, all that stuff
Went right back in his woolly fluff.
So did the fish! You’d never tell.
Can’t see ‘em squirm and they don’t smell.
In awe. Amazed! That’s how I felt.
Then from his beard - as Grandpa knelt -
A mist appeared, then whistling song...
Out drove a steam train, ten cars long!
The train slowed down and we jumped on
The rear caboose and rode along
Back to Gramps’s home - he tugged his beard
And just like that it disappeared
Home in bed that night, tucked in,
I felt my own smooth, hairless chin.
Awake. Asleep. I dreamt away
About the beard I’ll grow one day.
The End
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