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The Biscuit Thief Rhyme & Audiobook

A biscuit-loving boy called Tom promises that he never lies. So how can he prove who’s been stealing the family’s biscuits? The answer might surprise you!

Read myself

The Biscuit Thief

I love a biscuit. How ‘bout you?

The ones with chips of chocolate goo!

A ginger snap’s also a dream.

So’s shortbread, Jaffa, custard cream.

different types of biscuits floating around a brown haired glasses wearing boys head as he licks his lips

Chocolate digestives: yum!

Cosy, stacked inside my tum. 

My favourite, though, are Oreos. 

I’d do anything for some of those.

Anything but tell a lie.

My face goes red, so I don’t try.

Which leads me to my story, friend.

So, say you’ll stay until the end.

This morning, my folks said to me,

“Now, Tom, your biscuit limit’s three. 

The jar was emptied overnight.”

I took a peek and they were right!

the brown haired boy looking shocked at an empty glass biscuit jar

“I promise that it was not me.

I know the rule. I just take three!

Exactly three, I promise you.

It’s never four (and never two!).

It must be someone else,” I said.

Mum raised her brows. Dad scowled and said,

“Young Tom, don’t try to fool us, dear.

There’s only us three living here.

“Unless there’s goblins, elves or ghouls

Who steal to make us look like fools!”

We chuckled. There are no such things.

No biscuit fairies come on wings.

a green goblin purple elf and blue ghoul all looking at each other

“Maybe a rodent, like a mouse,

Has found a crack into our house.

Into the kitchen she must creep

To steal our biscuits while we sleep.”

I scratched my head. Thought for a bit.

Deep in my tum, a nervous pit.

“Well, let me say it. I’ll be brief.

Our town must have - a biscuit thief!” 

Some robber comes, that is for sure.

Our situation needs a cure.

My big idea to save us all?

“Let’s mount a camera on our wall!

The brown haired boys head with a thought bubble of a burglar

“Make sure all night the jar’s recorded.

Hopefully we’ll be rewarded.

We’ll know what thief comes through our door

To plunder while we sleep and snore.

“And then you’ll know. You’ll truly see

I tell the truth: it was not me!

I’ll clear my name, for I don’t lie.

Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Fine, then. We’ll record tonight

To make sure what you say is right.”

So then we turned the camera on.

We went to bed and slept ‘til dawn.

A full biscuit jar on a table being viewed through a cameras viewfinder

But I was startled from a dream

By hearing both my parents scream!

Mum and Dad both ran upstairs

All goosebumps, pale, with stand-up hairs.

We watched the film of overnight

And I’ll be darned – our JOKE was right.

The thing that crept into our home:

A little, bearded biscuit gnome!

a biscuit gnome with blue hair moustache and purple hat coming out of a tipped over empty glass biscuit jar

“I guess they’re real. We’re sorry, son!

A gnome did what we thought you’d done.

But now we know. We’ve found out who.

We must ask now, ‘What DO we DO!?’”

“Don’t worry, Mum, and don’t fret, Dad.

I’ve read of gnomes. They’re not all bad.

We mustn’t panic, vex or fuss.

A gnome likes biscuits, just like us!

“The best plan is for us to share.

We’ll buy more biscuits. Fair is fair.”

“We’re so proud, Tom. You hadn’t lied.

But...we can’t let a gnome inside!”

The brown haired boy hiding behind a wall watching the biscuit gnome take the biscuit jar to the bush

“I know,” I said. “It sounds bizarre.

We’ll buy a second biscuit jar!”

We did. And now we’re back on track.

We keep the second jar...out back.

The End

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