The Schnitzel Rhyme & Audiobook

Schnitzel

We all were scratching at our fleas

When Tank walked in, the gang’s “Big Cheese.”

He spat out both his doggy chews

Then said, “I’ve got some lousy news:

Schnitzel’s gone to jail! So now

We’ve got to get him out somehow!”

We knew we had hard work ahead,

The four of us in that old shed:

Dingo, Moxie, Tank and me,

Four stray dogs who loved to be free

But Schnitzel, collared, bound and tagged,

Was last seen yelping, being dragged

To a place called “The Last Resort.”

We howled when we heard this report!

On learning how our fellow stray

Had gotten caught and put away

We knew – without a single doubt – 

That he’d want us to break him out!

We huddled up and made a plan:

Tank said he would drive the van.

“Well,” I said, “a problem here

Is that we’re dogs. How will you steer?”

“Drat,” said Tank, “We’ll take the bus.

Dingo - get some tickets for us.”

Dingo briskly wagged his tail.

As I made maps that showed the jail.

Since Tank’s a whiz at picking locks,

And Moxie’s tops at chewing socks,

We figured we were just the pack

To bring our friend, ol’ Schnitzel, back.

I made us the best disguises:

Moustaches in different sizes!

We snuck in without a hitch.

One room contained our friend...but which?

We all tried not to show our fear.

And then: “Hey guys! He’s over here!”

But what was this? We were confused

For Schnitzel didn’t seem abused.

The mutt had cushions in this place,

And an oatmeal facial on his face!

Schnitzel gave us all a tour:

The mudbath and the “pawdicure.”

A big steak lunch? This was bizarre!

This wasn’t jail, it was...a spa!

“Hey, guys,” he said. “You look so vexed.

Stay a bit, dog yoga’s next.”

We had it wrong!  We came up short!

This place was just a pet resort!

So, Schnitzel didn’t want to flee.

“I’m done,” he said, “with being free.

To always fret ‘bout being fed?

And shivering in some old shed?”

And so we left him. “See ya, guys!”

He woofed — cucumbers on his eyes.

Back to our shed and doggy chews.

But you won’t hear us bark the blues:

Maybe lunches aren’t so fancy.

Maybe life’s a bit more chancy.

But at least we aren’t tied down.

A leash would only make us frown!

Dingo, Moxie, Tank and me

We don’t have much...but we are free!

The End