The Nothing Scary! Rhyme & Audiobook

Nothing Scary!

My younger sister’s gonna burst.

Today’s October thirty-first

And she can’t decide between

Her nine ideas for Halloween.

Poor Anna Blue – she should have fun!

This holiday’s her favourite one!

She gets excited for the day

When it is still ten months away!

She loves the candy – she’s no fool.

The games and parties – they’re all cool.

But what my sister loves the best

Is choosing just how she’ll be dressed.

So many possibilities!

It could make someone ill at ease

To go through such a lengthy list.

But Anna Blue, she does persist.

She rules out scary costumes first.

“Monsters? Ugh, no, they’re the worst!”

That’s what she says whenever I

Suggest a creature she should try.

No zombies woken from the dead.

No dragon spikes upon her head.

No spooky ghouls, no giant worms,

No beast that moans or howls or squirms.

“But,” she says, “that still leaves lots

Of choices! Like, say, astronauts!

A princess or a unicorn!

This toilet plunger makes the horn!

Or perhaps a clown? A fairy?!”

(Personally, I think clowns are scary.)

“Peter Pan! Or elves, or sprites!

Anything requiring tights!”

Her costume box has lots of things,

From sparkly crowns to pixie wings,

Shoes that tap and wands that glitter.

Her room looks like a pile of litter:

Cardboard, paint and scraps of cloth.

“Ooh! I’ll be a luna moth!

Or, no - an owl inside a tree!

Or, with some ingenuity,

These cotton balls could make a beard —

I’ll be Grandad! Or is that weird?”

She tries on tutus, wigs and ears

Till she is on the verge of tears.

I say, “You’ve tried on more than most.

Just find a sheet and be a ghost!”

She says again, “I’ll never wear

A costume that could shock or scare.”

But time is short and now it’s urgent.

“I’ll be a...box of clothes detergent!”

Says Anna Blue while using tape

To make a vaguely boxy shape.

Her room looked like a giant squid

Or a tornado visited.

One thousand items at her feet.

But Anna says, “Let’s Trick or Treat!”

Just what had changed, I didn’t know.

Was she really set to go?

I got dressed up in witch’s clothes,

With pointy hat and pointy nose.

Pretty simple. Pretty clear.

Anna, though, well...oh dear...

She’s wearing webbed feet, as a goose,

But also antlers, like a moose.

Her wig, though, is a purple frizz.

I guess a clown is what she is.

But why the snorkel? Why the mask?

In truth, I am afraid to ask.

With all those costumes that she tried,

She decides, “I won’t decide!

I’ll wear them all. Or nine, at least.”

And that’s why she looks quite the beast.

The mermaid tail, the feathered boa,

The beard she got from playing Noah,

All combine to make her look

Like a toddler’s colouring book.

And soon we find that we have strayed

Into a Halloween parade

Where every costume is assessed.

Judging not just which is best

But which will frighten and appal —

“The Scariest Costume Of All!”

The contest winner? You-know-who...

None other than...dear Anna Blue.

The End