It's 5AM. Inbox on fire,
Time to make another new hire,
Wash the dishes, empty the rack,
Fifty new pings. That must be Slack,
Set the table, check any post,
No time for eggs. Settle for toast.
Right. Asana. Check “My Task” list,
Four hundred items. None can be missed.
Join the team Zoom. Get an update.
Ten more URGENT things on my plate.
Take a deep breath, let’s power through.
Wait.. I need to.. go to the loo.
Google 'TechCrunch'. Type in ‘growth hacks’,
Swipe, then wipe. No time to relax,
Pitch decks. Pitch decks. Sell the dream,
And don’t forget the Options Scheme,
Unapproved or EMI?
My brain hurts now. OK, don’t cry,
Just read these thousand lines (or more),
Then sign and send by half-past four.
Call the accountant. Do payroll.
Then set all staff a monthly goal.
Apply for funding—but which one?
#yc ? VC? Angels? Or none?
What's that you say? SEIS?
Google it, quick. I'll need to impress.
Wolf a prawn sandwich. Go for a walk.
Head to YouTube. Watch a #tedtalk.
Back at the desk. Now three o'clock,
Quick! Sign that other legal doc,
File ‘VAT’ return, P.A.Y.E.,
And now it's time for strategy,
SEO? Or social? Paid ads?
Tiktok? Nah, that’s one of those fads.
But #garyvee says ‘it WILL stay’,
Right. Post there. Fourteen times a day,
We’ll go viral. We’ll get famous.
Oh, I’m such an ignoramus.
Call the dev chaps. Fix some more bugs,
Then clean up ALL the coffee mugs,
Time to check Stripe. And then Paypal,
Sales spike? No. Reset the morale,
Time check. Half six? Damn it, I’m late,
Rush in for bathtime (check the stair gate).
‘Daddy’s home, yay!’ This is my why,
Nappy. Cream. Wait.. was her bum dry?
Sooper Books next, obviousLY,
(Not tried it yet? Get started FREE)
Blatant plug! So, when this rhyme ends,
Please sign up. And tell ALL your friends,
Give her some milk. Put her to bed,
Now it’s time to get Charlene fed.
Pasta again?(fourth night in a row),
Chocolate. Netflix. Start a new show.
Three minutes in. Buzz buzz buzz. Why?
New York team. I’d better reply.
Slack. Asana. Quick, do it fast.
Chuck on Steven Bartlett's podcast.
Sink into bed. Close eyes and then,
Sleep ‘til 5.. and do it again.